Cat Nap

My uncle John looked into the TV room the other day, took one last disgusted look at the decrepit, stained couch and announced that he was going to Ikea to get a new one. I can not begin to describe the golden bubble of joy that in that moment began to fill me at the though of never ever again sitting on that couch. It was dark blue long ago, but has now become a dirty brownish color from the countless throw up stains, mud, food, blood, snot, fart fumes, and other gross things that 3 small boys and generations of cats can do to a couch. The new couch is bright red and squishy, comes with a matching chair, and is, as of this second, grossness free. We'll see how long that lasts. In an attempt to dissuade the cats from clawing the pristine arms of the couch, John bought one of those scratchy cardboard floor pallet things that you sprinkle with cat nip. Pete, the kitten, ate so much of the cat nip that he passed out on top of the scratchy thing in a drug-induced stupor from which he has yet to fully recover.